7-Steps to "Reframe" Feeling Stuck, Finding Your Confidence & Moving Forward In Life
Are you feeling stuck?
Maybe you feel like something is off in your career, relationships, or personal well-being.
If you're like many of the women I coach, you're probably not even sure why you feel the way you feel. Your brain tells you to be grateful and stop whining, but your heart and gut aren't feeling it.
So you bottle up the frustration and confusion and keep pushing forward in your daily life, hoping those feelings just go away.
But guess what? That's not the formula for a happy life. The exhaustion won't actually go away if you ignore your feelings. They'll intensify until something breaks--your relationships, health, and happiness.
For far too long, this too was my story. However, my self-discovery journey to finding confidence, meaning, purpose, and joy came from following the steps of REFRAME.
At the time, I didn't fully realize this self-discovery process, but now, after finding clarity for myself and coaching 100s, this is the path that consistently helps individuals REFRAME their life, break old habits and negative thoughts, and become their best selves.
This is the 7 step REFRAME process to getting unstuck and reinventing yourself:
Step One: Reflect on your past
It's super challenging moving forward if you cannot deal with your past. This step of the process is taking inventory of what's gone on in your life that has shaped who you are today.
Think of the good stuff and the bad stuff--it's all-important! The biggest thing during this phase is to get curious about the things that have shaped your life. Pull out a pen and paper and write down a list of everything that comes to mind.
Step Two: Elaborate and go deeper
Sometimes we conveniently forget the details of our past, both the good things and the bad.
When we feel stuck, we often ignore the good things that have happened in our lives. Reflecting on the positive moments of life will help you identify who you were in that good moment in life and possibly how to tap back into becoming that person again.
When we reflect on the shit-storms of life, it allows us to give our past self grace. Your younger self was doing the best they could do with what they had at the time. Honor and show love to the person you were back then. Reflect on how those moments shaped you.
If this work requires you to get professional help, that's ok! Be honest with yourself, put yourself first, and invest in hiring a great therapist.
Step Three: Identify your Fears
We typically are stuck in life because there is a fear holding us back. Your brain is trying to protect you, telling you lies that keep you from stepping out into the great unknown. But the journey to the unknown is where you find your big fat juicy, vibrant life!
So we have to identify those fears. Fears typically create a physical or emotional reaction inside of us. Pay attention to your life and look for patterns where you are physically and emotionally reacting. Those are fears.
Ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?"
And then dig deeper.
What are those fears keeping you from? How are these fears limiting your power?
Take the time to really dig into those fears. Get curious and ask the hard questions.
Step Four: Reframe Reality
Many people don't realize that they have the power to create their reality. They interpret their present reality with a whole slew of self-limiting negative stories. However, another person could have the exact same circumstances but live an entirely different life. Why? Because they tell themselves a different story of their reality.
Your reality is what you say it is. So create that reality.
You might be afraid of stepping into something grand, but deep down inside, the story you are telling yourself is, "This is a stupid idea. I'll go homeless if I try to do that with my life."
But what a crazy story, right? What is the reality that you will actually go homeless? I'm guessing there is zero chance that will happen.
The "reframe reality" phase is super powerful because you get a chance to identify the stories you've been telling yourself that are negative. Identify these stories and see if there is actually any evidence that supports those stories. Reframing your reality takes self-awareness so take your time reflecting on the stories you are telling yourself.
After identifying all the negative stories, take time to rewrite those narratives. What if you really could get what you want? What would become possible for you? Rewrite those stories. Simply writing out new narratives allows you to live a new reality.
Step Five: Accept your reality and adapt
Now that you've identified your limiting fears and have reframed the stories you've been telling yourself, it's time to accept what you can't change.
Yes, you are in charge of shaping your reality, but still, there are things we can't control. And often, we waste a TON OF ENERGY focusing on what we can't control.
Make a list of the things YOU have control over and things outside of your control. And decide to let go of those things that are wasting your energy.
And how do you surrender control? By adapting. Adapting is finding your superpower to change a situation for your good. Even in the midst of letting go of uncontrollable situations, you have the power to live out a new reality.
Step Six: Manifest your ideal life
You've heard it said where focus goes, energy flows. This idea is the central idea around maximizing your life. When you fill your mind with "I can't," "never," and "no way," you will get exactly what your mind is telling yourself.
Change how you talk to yourself. Who do you want to become? What is your ideal life vision? What do you really want out of life? Now visualize your life as if these things were true.
Work to eliminate all language contrary to what you visualize your life becoming. That might be external voices and internal voices. Put 100% focus on what you want, and you'll be surprised how fast you start seeing changes.
Be mindful of your words throughout your day, consciously saying "I am," "I have," "I can," and "I will" statements.
"Change your words, and you change your world." - Andrea Gardner
Step Seven: Have the courage to Elevate
Elevation comes when we make reframing our life a daily habit. It's taking the time for daily self-discovery. It's recognizing negative self-talk. It's going 110% after our personal life vision. It's having the courage to do things that seem scary.
So each day, I walk through the steps of REFRAME in my personal life.
My challenge to you is to commit to reaching your ideal life each and every day. Claim your power so you can elevate to become a badass in all areas of your life.
Ready to get unstuck, reframe your reality, and step into living a badass life?
I wrote All In: A Working Mom’s Unapologetic Quest for a Jucy Life to help you know that reframing your life and stepping into something grand and compelling is possible for everyone. I dive into my story and share practical steps to living the life you really want.
Everyone has the power to create an extraordinary life; however, they can't just hope their life will change. They need to take action.